Hello there, again!
It’s been a while, I know. But better later than never. I like this expression. It gives you the chance to do things your own way. There’s always an excuse, isn’t there? Do you remember that tidbit I wrote on January 1st? … How could you? It’s been over half a year since then and it’s not like you’d go back every day to reread my blog. Anyway, I’ll remind you: resolutions made at the beginning of the year are meant to be forgotten (or something like that; not even I would go back to read the exact phrase, and that says something!). Well, one of the resolutions I made (and of course, I had to put it in writing on my blog – that’s the smartest thing to do: promise something and don’t do it!) was that I would post something on my blog before midnight every day. Well, I’d forgotten something very important when I wrote that: I don’t do well with rules. They wear me down. So, instead of finding fun writing on the blog, it became a chore. I hate chores, don’t you? I can do whatever I have to do as long as there’s no rule attached to it. So, from now on, my posts will be on line when they are on line. Not before midnight or before noon. They might be in the morning or in the evening. Whenever inspiration strikes. Anyway, the post will be shared on Facebook and Twitter so everybody will know. Besides the rules thing, which I’ve already confessed it’s so not me, I was on that roller-coaster ride (who read my posts will know what I’m talking about) and the ride went only down for a while, then took me up, so up that I had so many things to do, that I couldn’t even think about posting anything on line. Briefly, so that I could bring you back to speed, in a span of a few months, I’ve had two accounts hacked (everything went missing – balance zero in one morning) and a fraud on the credit card, a terrible flu that didn’t want to go away, and I’ve lived (actually I’m still living!!!) next to the neighbors from hell. I’m talking about that type of neighbors that have only two speeds: either music as loud as possible (of course, not something I’d find enjoyable - it's always like that, isn't it?) but who also hate their children with passion, which translates in constant yelling and verbal and, sometimes, physical abusing. I can hear the worst swearing and yelling in the world every single day. It seems that they don’t like their children’s interfering with their TV shows, which they watch all the time. They are on welfare so they have the time. The problem is that no one sees nothing and does nothing, even though there have been complaints from everywhere. A couple of weeks ago, I read about a family whose child was taken by social services just because the father smoked pot, and the story had a very tragic ending. However, no one cares about children abused daily or I could say every single minute of the day. Sometimes, I wonder what the rules are. Either they’re too elaborated for me to understand or they’re applied depending on the mood of the social workers. Well, it seems that this is the norm, lately. I can see a lot of mothers riding the TTC. They have toddlers in strollers and they are so absorbed with their cell phones that whenever the little guy says something either they ignore the child or they yell that they can't have peace. I know raising a child is no piece of cake, however, once the child's here in the world, you have to do your best. It's not like the little guy begged you to have it. Anyway, besides everything going on, TTC decided to improve their services. That means, with no exaggeration, that every single time I had to go downtown, whenever I went inside the station, I had my heart in my boots. I knew I’d hear a message and I wasn’t disappointed for a few months. Whenever I’d step inside I could hear one of the messages: there is a delay on line one because of track conditions (or because of signal failure, because of an alarm activated on the train, because of fire at station….). That wasn’t so bad. Bad was when I heard something like: there’s a suspension on line one. Well, that would make my day. I would leave to work or coming back from work but I wouldn’t know how long it would take. For a train trip that should take maximum thirty minutes, I had the joy of being stuck on the subway even for three hours. Well, I shouldn’t complain: there's quite good material on the subway. It’s a nursery of characters. Just take your pick. It’s not like you have anything else good to do. For a while, I started writing poems on my phone but the noise around wore me out and I couldn’t tune it out anymore, so I had to give up the poetry writing. And I was so proud of myself! I hadn’t written a poem since I was twelve and the first three I wrote recently got picked up for an anthology. I’m not very demonstrative, but this time I had to tell myself: good for you girl! A few weeks ago, the town hall decided on fixing an intersection, and that meant that all the intersections related to one of the main roads leading to that crossroads were affected. You could have the chance to be on a bus that needed about twenty minutes to get from one stop to another. I take the express. Don’t get fooled by the name! That one gets stuck in traffic like any other bus. So it takes five minutes per meter! The express way, huh! Anyway, with everything going on, I was a bit angry. A friend told me that people nowadays can’t deal with everything without a good psychologist or psychotherapist and that I bottled too much inside and I needed to talk to someone, as usually I was the one listening and no one would listen to me. I was a bit reluctant at the beginning, however, in the end, I said it wouldn’t be bad. I wouldn't have too much to lose. So, I found a psychologist: it sounded a bit more professional than a psychotherapist (how wrong I was!). Anyway, I went to the first appointment with a lot of enthusiasm. I thought I could talk now, someone would listen… huh… Well, she talked for about 99.99% of the time. I told myself that it was only the first appointment and I shouldn't feel disappointed. Maybe the next one would get better. Well, after three appointments, I knew everything about her youth, her dog and even her aunt. I also got a good piece of advice: don’t skip meals and just relax. She knew nothing about me: it was too difficult for me to put a word in. Every time I’d open my mouth, she’d start talking again. So, due to a very strong preservation sense, I kept my mouth shut and enjoyed the brief moments of silence when she’d run out of steam. After the third appointment I knew it: I’d better spend three hours with a good book then going back to see her. It would do miracles for my well-being. Nonetheless, that decision did me good because I started writing again and I started a lot of interesting projects. However, because of that, I didn’t have time to return to my blog. I saw that people came back to see if I posted something, and I do have to apologize to them. What I can say now is that I will post, probably every day, but not at a specific time of the day. It will work better that way. I’d also like to let you know that meanwhile I’ve had a new book published, both in English and Romanian: Leap of Faith in English, and Meg La Rascruce de Drumuri in Romanian. I will put up the links. If you leave a comment, positive or negative (how could someone learn anything without feedback?), I will send you a coupon so that you could get the eBook free. Till next time! See you!
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ROXANA NASTASEBorn sometime in the past century, living in the 21st century. https://www.ebookstage.com/welcome/NTYyNzY=/
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January 2022
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