Some friends dared me to write flash fiction using the prompt: "'Ugh!' she groaned."
Well, here's the result: enjoy!
"Ugh," she groaned and threw a plate in his general direction.
Ella wasn’t a good shot, even though she practiced quite often. It wasn’t like she hadn’t broken enough plates throwing them to him. One of these days, she hoped she wouldn’t miss.
“Come on, baby! You have to understand!” Colin pleaded with his puppy eyes and an imploring gesture.
He’d always do that. He’d let her waiting there like that and taking off to be with one of his friends.
Her sister was right: she had to lose him and find something better or she’d be left with no more dishes in the cupboard. Last week she’d finished that beautiful set with those little flowers painted on the rim of the plates. Huh! Enough was enough. Colin could hang!
“You know what?” Ella put her fists on her hips and confronted him. “I’ve had enough! Go play with the boys, Colin, and forget you’ve known me, jerk!”
She saw him cringing when her voice reached the highest note. Eh, so what? She was sick of him and his lame excuses. She’d fallen for them too much in the past. That was the day when she’d reclaim her future and her love life back.
It wasn’t like she’d get any younger. Past her prime, that was what her grandma said. She had to consider the larger picture here. And the larger picture was her life which right now was there, stuck in that old-news relationship.
“You can’t be serious, baby, come on! You don’t really want me to leave. You love me!” he smiled at her with that lopsided smile that would make her shiver.
Well, not anymore, she realized. She didn’t feel anything for Colin anymore. After a year of missed dates and lonely evenings spent in her apartment waiting for Prince Charming to come on his white horse, she had nothing left for him.
Yep, Prince Charming was tarnished. Maybe she needed a regular guy… Nah.. She needed the sparks and the excitement… But not with Colin. With him she had the colic and the migraines and the tears… Buckets of tears. Like the last Christmas. When she spent the Christmas Eve and Christmas Day alone because he couldn’t make it. He’d went ice fishing…
Calm, very calm, as nothing mattered anymore, Ella replied to him:
“Yes, I’m serious, Colin. I want you to leave now and I don’t want you to come back. Ever again. If you do, I’ll accuse you of stalking.”
Colin’s eyes grew wide as understanding downed. Ella noticed that he was in deep shock. She calmly went to the front door and opened it:
He stared at her incredulously still stuck on his spot. Her right brow went up and she pointed towards the hall to make him move.
“You know that you’ll regret this, baby. I’ll wait for your call,” Colin said resignedly and went out.
“Don’t glue yourself to the phone, Colin,” Ella replied after him. “I won’t call. When I close this door behind you, I’ll forget that you exist in this world.”
“Your loss,” he shrugged.
“Maybe. But definitely yours, baby!”
After that parting shot, Ella locked the door and for good measure, also latched the chain. She didn’t fear he’d come back but she needed a final gesture, symbolic, something like a burial for their relationship. Then she started picking up the shivers scattered all over her living-room carpet. Oh, God, how many times she’d done that! Stupid, stupid cow!
She could feel something in her throat and she feared that if she tried to clear it she would start crying. They’d been together for over three years now. Three years that went down the drain now. She didn’t regret that she’d shown him the door but she regretted that she’d wasted three years of her life with that jackass.
And the clock was ticking. Almost thirty-seven, childless, husbandless… Ugh.
Ella threw the shivers in the garbage bin and hesitated for a moment. Then she anxiously ran towards the phone and started dialing Joan’s number.
“Hi, Jo, it’s me! What are you doing tonight?”
“Hi,” Jo said hesitantly and then a long pause ensued.
Ella didn’t blame Jo. She couldn’t be so unfair. Her call was like a thunderbolt. It had been years since she called Jo to ask about her evening.
“I … don’t know…,” the reply came.
“No plans?” Ella asked.
Another pause. Jo was a bit slow, Ella remembered now. So, she patiently waited.
“Why are you asking?” finally Jo asked.
“Well, I was thinking we could go out… to a bar or something…”
Yep, another pause. She felt a sharp pain in her arm. Not too funny to hold the phone for so long.
“And Colin?” Jo asked hesitantly.
Ella understood that too. Jo wasn’t one of Colin’s fans. Actually, no one among Ella’s family or friends rooted for Colin. The piece of… Okay, not now! She had to assure Jo that Colin wouldn’t bother them.
“No worries, Colin got his ticket,” she said.
“What ticket?” a stunned Jo asked.
“I mean that I broke up with him. I want to go on a hunt!” Ella shouted joyfully.
Pause, of course, what else. Come on, Jo, live it up, girl!
“What… do you want to… hunt?”
Jo needed to go out more often. That was clear. Crystal clear.
“A man, Jo, what the hell else? I want to hunt a man. A regular man to have children with…” Ella effectively yelled her reply. She spoke so fast that she had to stop and breathe.
Now, Jo decided to chime in:
“Now, you want to make children now?”
“No, you … you… Jo!” Ella spluttered. “Not now, like in right now. But I want to find a man with whom I could have children, let’s say sometime next year!”
“I see… I see…. And what can I do?”
“I don’t know!” Ella shouted and thought: stupid, stupid, stupid. “Come with me at a single bar, I think!”
Pause, of course. That pain in the arm got sharper and Ella mentally sent an arrow in Jo’s direction. She saw Jo pierced through the heart. No, through the brain. Her heart was all right, the brain was the damn problem!
“All right, Ella. When?”
“Next century, you dummy!” she thought but replied:
“Tonight! I’ll come and get you at eight, okay?”
“Damn, she’s slow!”
“Okay, eight it is. See you, girl. Bye!”
Ella hurried to disconnect the call. She was exhausted. Throwing plates was not easy work! Throwing your boyfriend – all right, ex-boyfriend, out, not easy either, and to talk to Jo – well, that would try a saint!
Born sometime in the past century, living in the 21st century.
Sometimes I have good ideas... (what do you think?)
Sometimes fascinating guests!
(that for sure!)
Sometimes I have to share some of my frustrations,..
(not too tempting, huh!)
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